This time a little over a year ago I was unemployed. Filled with hope, but mostly doubt. Doubt about what I was going to do with my life. Why did we move here? This place sucks. I hate Chicago. I could like it I guess. I do love fall. I like new and challenging experiences, maybe it will be okay. I wouldn't work for another two months. At that point I had no prospects, at least no real ones. Then came Haymarket Center (www.hcenter.org). A most unlikely place I would have picked to work, but I feel I can almost say it picked me. The last year has been invaluable. My unit, the Integrated Care Program serves 16 male clients, where to qualify they must be 1)uninsured 2) homeless 3) dually-diagnosed (mental health disorder and substance abuse. Most are unemployed as well.
Was I terrified going into this working environment? Yes, of course I was. But did I know what I was getting myself into? Maybe, but not really. As I look back do I regret it, of course not. This job has reshaped and challenged in every way imaginable how I view schizophrenia, psychosis, substance abuse, homelessness, poverty, bipolar, narcissism, gender, race, and socio-economic status. I encountered extremes in EVERY one of these areas. And I've loved it. Side note: If you have never known or experienced someone with schizophrenia (auditory hallucinations in particular), watch this 8 minute video. It gives a pretty, what I would call, tragic and terrifying depiction of it.
What else have I learned:
Transportation-wise
I've learned to drive down Lake Shore Drive with about a foot of space between cars on either side of me. No I'm kidding, it's probably a foot and a half.
I've learned to take trains as a main form of public transportation. I'm over it. Give me my car.
3 miles means plan for 30+ minutes of driving.
Cab drivers like to play the how many inches away from your car does my fender need to be before you give me the finger game
Chicago people LOOOOOOOOOOVE to honk their horn at you
You really do see some crazy things on the train: people who are practically naked, people on every kind of drug you could imagine, people maybe if not actually having sex, people yelling at nothing, people sleeping with a plastic CVS bag over their head, gambling cons throwing around 100 dollar bills in front of homeless riders begging for change, people picking fights with you, and so many other things I can't remember now.
People
I've met some (hopefully) lifelong friends while being here. And in some pretty unexpected places, from unexpected places. (Mississippi, SoCal, Boston-ish, Texas (of all places), Alexandria, Chicago,
If you're from the midwest, for me MN or WI, Chicagoans are not as polite as the states I come from. If you're from the East coast, Chicagoans are the nicest and kindest people.
The city is so crowded and I understand why no one talks to each other on the trains, because you can't ever escape people. You are always around people all the time...so you put headphones on, listen to music, read a book, avoid eye contact and pretend the world around you doesn't exist. I'm sure people would give me crap about this view, but as a northerner, that's how I see it.
There's a lot of other things about Chicago, but as I sit in the Northwoods of Wisconsin, it's refreshing to be around quiet, the silence of a snow covered lake, fire crackling, wind through the pines and deer walking past your windows. I haven't heard a siren in 7 days. It is amazing. Yet I kind of miss it. I am from Wisconsin after all, but I have really learned to love the city. You can take the boy out of Wisconsin, but you can't take the Wisconsin out of the boy. Chicago, you aren't that bad, but you take some getting used to.
This is a quick snapshot of the past year plus. It has had its challenges and rewards. I do not regret moving to Chicago, but I am not convinced Chicago is for me. We'll see what 2015 holds.
Was I terrified going into this working environment? Yes, of course I was. But did I know what I was getting myself into? Maybe, but not really. As I look back do I regret it, of course not. This job has reshaped and challenged in every way imaginable how I view schizophrenia, psychosis, substance abuse, homelessness, poverty, bipolar, narcissism, gender, race, and socio-economic status. I encountered extremes in EVERY one of these areas. And I've loved it. Side note: If you have never known or experienced someone with schizophrenia (auditory hallucinations in particular), watch this 8 minute video. It gives a pretty, what I would call, tragic and terrifying depiction of it.
What else have I learned:
Transportation-wise
I've learned to drive down Lake Shore Drive with about a foot of space between cars on either side of me. No I'm kidding, it's probably a foot and a half.
I've learned to take trains as a main form of public transportation. I'm over it. Give me my car.
3 miles means plan for 30+ minutes of driving.
Cab drivers like to play the how many inches away from your car does my fender need to be before you give me the finger game
Chicago people LOOOOOOOOOOVE to honk their horn at you
You really do see some crazy things on the train: people who are practically naked, people on every kind of drug you could imagine, people maybe if not actually having sex, people yelling at nothing, people sleeping with a plastic CVS bag over their head, gambling cons throwing around 100 dollar bills in front of homeless riders begging for change, people picking fights with you, and so many other things I can't remember now.
People
I've met some (hopefully) lifelong friends while being here. And in some pretty unexpected places, from unexpected places. (Mississippi, SoCal, Boston-ish, Texas (of all places), Alexandria, Chicago,
If you're from the midwest, for me MN or WI, Chicagoans are not as polite as the states I come from. If you're from the East coast, Chicagoans are the nicest and kindest people.
The city is so crowded and I understand why no one talks to each other on the trains, because you can't ever escape people. You are always around people all the time...so you put headphones on, listen to music, read a book, avoid eye contact and pretend the world around you doesn't exist. I'm sure people would give me crap about this view, but as a northerner, that's how I see it.
There's a lot of other things about Chicago, but as I sit in the Northwoods of Wisconsin, it's refreshing to be around quiet, the silence of a snow covered lake, fire crackling, wind through the pines and deer walking past your windows. I haven't heard a siren in 7 days. It is amazing. Yet I kind of miss it. I am from Wisconsin after all, but I have really learned to love the city. You can take the boy out of Wisconsin, but you can't take the Wisconsin out of the boy. Chicago, you aren't that bad, but you take some getting used to.
This is a quick snapshot of the past year plus. It has had its challenges and rewards. I do not regret moving to Chicago, but I am not convinced Chicago is for me. We'll see what 2015 holds.
Great reflections. Glad we know you, ATG. Here's to feeling the fear... :)
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