The last few weeks/months I have felt as if I’ve just been a cynic when it comes to most things in life. This usually plays itself out by me questioning, judging and critiquing issues or people. If you were one of those people, I apologize. When I look back I wonder if cynicism can be a good thing? I’ve always known the word to have a negative connotation to it. However, I think have come to a place where I believe cynicism can be good and bad. If it were a good thing, others may call it healthy skepticism and those who view it as bad, would still call it cynicism, but I do think there is a balance that can be obtained. On one side, I think asking too few of questions or having minimal experiences can make one naive and on the other end you have cynicism. I tend to land on the side currently that makes me afraid of asking too many questions where I lose what I’m most passionate about, “doing.” I do not want to be the person who sits and wonders and asks questions all day and loses site of what Christ actually did most. Jesus served others. Walked with God. Was humble. Loved others well. So I am at this place where I’m trying to find this balance. Asking questions, but not ONLY asking questions and focusing on attaining the answers.
As I observe my thoughts on the Bible and in particular the authors who wrote each book, I error on the side of wanting to only believe the Gospels because those are the more directly related historical records of Christ. I tend to, at this point of my life, want to stay away from Paul. After all, is he not just trying to live out what Christ modeled? So why would I choose to model my life after someone who was human like all of us and may have interpreted Christ incorrectly? Here is where my cynicism escalates. I even question the authors of the Gospels. They were human like us. How do we know they understood their own time correctly? How could they have possibly recorded conversations with Christ accurately, being that the books were written after many of the Paul’s letters. We misinterpret God all the time. We think God tells us one thing and then later in life we realize maybe that wasn’t God, or maybe I had it wrong the whole time, maybe God was actually telling me something completely different. This happens to me and I have heard it happen with SO many people. How do we know this isn’t the case with the Gospels, Paul’s letters, the OT, manuscripts, etc….
Yeah of course I would love to believe everything I read unequivocally. I want to trust that “all scripture is inspired by God” as Timothy reads, they, that being the authors, Paul et all, were writing what they felt God was telling them. But then I immediately compare them to the people who kill others because they felt God was telling them to. Or the people who oppress others and justify it because “it’s in the bible.” So many things get God’s name attached to it that does more damage than good in my opinion which is partially why I am faced with these questions.
My questions do not come based off lack of knowledge of the Bible. Now of course I do not know or fully comprehend or understand all that the Bible is telling me. And yes, it can only help to continue reading and trying to learn, I get that. No, my dilemma is more that I do not believe that the author is without fault in his/her writing and interpretation and therefore I’m left with searching for what is true and what is not. For every book, commentary, article, etc… I read with one view/interpretation I can find another that has the opposite view/interpretation that sounds just as compelling. So, as with most things lately, the more I read, the more questions I come up with. I get “it’s all part of the journey” and I’m supposed to enjoy it, but sometimes the gray is not as fun as just “knowing.” As someone once said “it’s called faith and by that I believe.” That sounds good too, but doesn’t seem to sync with me that easily.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
urban/suburban school partnerships. north high school. good or bad.
as a continuation from my previous post i want to talk about where to draw the line on schooling. I coached for an urban school this past fall and found myself loving it. As much as was afraid as a white dude going into a primarily african american setting, I loved it. I was afraid because I did not know if there was anything I could do to help. Was it my place to help? What needed to be helped for that matter? As a white man could I offer anything to these kids or were they offering something to me? The decision to get involved was to be more active in my community and it led me to this high school. I was fortunate enough to have been asked to join the staff as an assistant coach and work with the kids. I spent May - November with them and it was eye opening. Listening to the conversations and seeing the emotional reactions to what I would consider are minute things in life, really shocked me. Seeing these students and athletes every day for several months allowed me to see a little piece of their life. It sucked me in like a magnet. I wanted to know more and I wanted to see what I could do to be more of a support to the schools and the students. That is all to say I have grown to want to be more involved and a part of the these kids and kids like them. My passion in this leads me to my subject.
I recently did a research project on integration in schools in the Twin Cities for my grad school application. This all centered around the possibility of North High School getting shut down. In a nutshell, I learned the NAACP has a funded program called "Choice Is Your's" where money is offered to families on low income to bus their kids to partnering suburban schools to "get a better education" because the Minneapolis Public Schools, specifically North High School is not properly educating students. After my research I have realized that I do not think the answer is sending kids out of their communities. I do not feel that sending these kids to white suburban schools is helping with their education, especially when many of these schools do not have the capacity to teach and relate with urban students. The culture is different, the language is different, and therefore the relationships between teacher and student have to be different. In addition to that, there are an estimated 10,000 kids in North Minneapolis alone that are not even attending school. THAT is a problem! I understand with Minneapolis changing the zoning laws and not allowing bussing between North and South Mpls has changed some things and funding in North Mpls causes problems too, but is there something that can be done? Sure some of these students getting bussed out are learning in classes, but many are not. Many are not reaping any benefits from these schools and then they are spending an hour or more on a bus traveling back and forth from home. But what is the alternative? Dropping out of school? Never attending high school? Joining a gang? Trying to find a job to support the family? If they do find a job, it is most likely an under paying job. I just want to see all kids with an opportunity to go to school and succeed.
I would love if anyone could shed more light on this. I do not claim to know everything there is to know about this situation and clearly I cannot write everything I learned in my research. I also do not want to be naive to the fact that this exists and I would welcome the chance to learn more about it.
I do know that these kids need an education or this world is not going to be kind to them. There has to be something that can be done.
I recently did a research project on integration in schools in the Twin Cities for my grad school application. This all centered around the possibility of North High School getting shut down. In a nutshell, I learned the NAACP has a funded program called "Choice Is Your's" where money is offered to families on low income to bus their kids to partnering suburban schools to "get a better education" because the Minneapolis Public Schools, specifically North High School is not properly educating students. After my research I have realized that I do not think the answer is sending kids out of their communities. I do not feel that sending these kids to white suburban schools is helping with their education, especially when many of these schools do not have the capacity to teach and relate with urban students. The culture is different, the language is different, and therefore the relationships between teacher and student have to be different. In addition to that, there are an estimated 10,000 kids in North Minneapolis alone that are not even attending school. THAT is a problem! I understand with Minneapolis changing the zoning laws and not allowing bussing between North and South Mpls has changed some things and funding in North Mpls causes problems too, but is there something that can be done? Sure some of these students getting bussed out are learning in classes, but many are not. Many are not reaping any benefits from these schools and then they are spending an hour or more on a bus traveling back and forth from home. But what is the alternative? Dropping out of school? Never attending high school? Joining a gang? Trying to find a job to support the family? If they do find a job, it is most likely an under paying job. I just want to see all kids with an opportunity to go to school and succeed.
I would love if anyone could shed more light on this. I do not claim to know everything there is to know about this situation and clearly I cannot write everything I learned in my research. I also do not want to be naive to the fact that this exists and I would welcome the chance to learn more about it.
I do know that these kids need an education or this world is not going to be kind to them. There has to be something that can be done.
Friday, January 21, 2011
where to draw the line. is there a line. bible. | school integration...
When and where do you draw the lines when it comes to things that presumably hold high meaning to you? There are a few areas that have made me think about this recently: bible; justice; urban/suburban schooling. I will write on each of these as they come to mind. With that, here is bible!
Where do you, if you do at all, draw the line when it comes to the bible. When do we (I) choose to take the bible as it is stated and(or) when do I use it as a guide and(or) when do I use it as a historical record of God? I can say that this question is not important, but I truly believe it is. I know people that take the Bible as it is, word for word, if it is in the Bible, then it is truth. Whereas others I know would say the Bible is important in understanding the historical context of God, but believe that modern day differs from the Bibles' era and we can pull things from it that identifies how humanity ought to be lived out but is not an exact replica of then and now. When Jesus commanded us to do things does that mean exactly the same today? Do we apply it to 2011 and if so what does that look like? I would be willing to guess for each person it looks differently. To me at least, it never seems enough, whatever it is that I'm doing. I always feel there is more to do and I'm not doing enough....maybe I'm interpreting the Bible incorrectly. All the gaps that the Gospels seem to have in Jesus' life, maybe I'm filling those in with unrealistic expectations of my own life. Or maybe it still is not enough? When do you stop helping others. Do you take "me" time? Or is that being selfish? I can go on, but I think you get the point. Where do you draw the line in Christianity and following Jesus? Or do you?
Where do you, if you do at all, draw the line when it comes to the bible. When do we (I) choose to take the bible as it is stated and(or) when do I use it as a guide and(or) when do I use it as a historical record of God? I can say that this question is not important, but I truly believe it is. I know people that take the Bible as it is, word for word, if it is in the Bible, then it is truth. Whereas others I know would say the Bible is important in understanding the historical context of God, but believe that modern day differs from the Bibles' era and we can pull things from it that identifies how humanity ought to be lived out but is not an exact replica of then and now. When Jesus commanded us to do things does that mean exactly the same today? Do we apply it to 2011 and if so what does that look like? I would be willing to guess for each person it looks differently. To me at least, it never seems enough, whatever it is that I'm doing. I always feel there is more to do and I'm not doing enough....maybe I'm interpreting the Bible incorrectly. All the gaps that the Gospels seem to have in Jesus' life, maybe I'm filling those in with unrealistic expectations of my own life. Or maybe it still is not enough? When do you stop helping others. Do you take "me" time? Or is that being selfish? I can go on, but I think you get the point. Where do you draw the line in Christianity and following Jesus? Or do you?
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
money.god.responsibilities.
I was engaged in a conversation this morning about money. I seem to have had many of these conversations lately. It also seems to be very unsettling. All these conversations seem to come down to "what does the Bible say about it" response. Well, that is fine, but if we aren't doing a majority of what the bible says, why should money be different? I mean, if we're honest about it, what Christ really asks of me, I am not doing. I SHOULD be, but in all reality, I am not. Why? Truthfully, I am afraid too. I cannot bring myself to want to live as a radical of life as Christ told us to live. Giving up all of mine and Sara's possessions seems unreasonable. I do not trust that others in my life will buy into the community aspect that is so prevalent in the Bible to help and fulfill our basic needs on a regular basis. Sure we can supply most needs, but if we're giving our money and possessions away to those who "really" need it, that will most likely leave us in need and I do not trust that those needs will be met. Should this be different? Yes, of course. Do I think God can do crazy radical things to help us, yes, will God? Who knows? So what is meant by giving all your possessions to those in need? Should we give until we are completely reliant upon God? Is it our responsibility to use the gifts and resources(jobs, money) God has given us or helped us to obtain in a reasonable manner? What is responsible? Should I help all my friends out of debt and disregard my own debt? You tell me?
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